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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Dreams ...

What did you dream of when you were a child?
What did you want to be or do when you grew up?
Are you doing it now?
What did you think your life would be like when you got to be the age you are now?

I have to admit that a lot of my thoughts were pretty short term. When I was in high school, I went to school, worked, studied, did chores (most of the time - very grudgingly), went to bed and started all over the next day. I did hang out with my friends on the weekend and my best friend and I often had sleep overs at her house or mine. In college - I worked full time, went to school full time and still had plenty of time to do other "college aged kid" things. (We won't go any further with that part of the story!)

I wanted to finish college and get my degree - but what did I want to do once I got that degree in hand? Good question! Now - I'm not really sure.

This all started with a conversation I had with a woman that had come into sign up for benefits today. She was not able to start to work when school started back because she was working another job for the summer. I asked her about the job and she told me she had been working at the state park that is in our area. I have always wanted to work out there but things never worked out right. Listening to her describe her experiences was such a treat but also a bit depressing. I am at the stage in life where I should be settled, but instead find myself very unsettled and wistful. At that time in my life, the degree was the end of the line, instead of being the beginning. Hopefully this time will pass and the Lord will show me how to be content with where I am.(Reminds me of a joke a pastor told me a long time ago - we'll deal with that later!) This seems to be one of the challenges in my life - this thing about being content. I don't necessarily want things or have a need to keep up with someone else. I think my challenge is being content with what God has for me to do right now.

If you feel so inclined - I would love to hear about some of your thoughts in this area. If you would prefer to not have those thoughts posted, please feel free to email me at I look forward to insights from many who are much wiser than I am!

Paul tells us:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13


Kathy said...

I have so many thoughts going through my head about this that I could probably write a whole blog post. I sometimes struggle with these same things - so maybe it's normal for women to go through this after the kids have gotten older. For me, when I was growing up, I didn't have high career ambitions, but I had this goal to get married, have kids and be a housewife. That was honestly what I wanted out of life. My mother had to work and I wanted so much for her to be home and to pick us up from school in the afternoons, but that wasn't possible I guess. I wanted to be home for my kids and to be able to pick them up from school. I did get to do this somewhat, and then some of the time worked a part-time job where I got off at 2:30 each afternoon. It was great. The reason I went to college was so I'd have a career to fall back on in case no one wanted to marry me, LOL! I majored in music and though I didn't teach in public school, I did a lot of piano teaching and playing in church and weddings. So, I think I've done what I wanted to do, but now sometimes I wonder if I should be doing more than being a receptionist in a law firm. (A very large and prestigious law firm, I might add!) Sorry for writing so much.

Frasypoo said...

Well,I am not wiser than you...but heres my story.
I always wanted to be a stewardess,but in India they are considered"loose" so my parents never,ever let me and I was asked by a lady VP of Cathay Pacific if I would be interested.I always regret it.
I kinda went to college because its what you did and again regret my attitude.
Like Kathy,I wanted to be a wife and mother.I wanted to be a stay-at home mom so that when the kids came home I' d be there as it was how things were when I was growing up.But I dont have children though the stepkids come to home to our house after school.
Though I feel like what you are going thro.....I feel that there should be something that I should be doing.
I guess I am of no help!!!

Incognito said...

Does anyone really know what one truly wants in childhood? I don't think so. I never knew what I wanted as a teen. I went to college, was going to be a physical therapist, got my only C in Biology and switched to Theatre Arts, and have been doing that ever since. I have my days when I enjoy what I do, other times I have had such painful experiences I ask myself why I continue doing this. But I continue to do it because I believe this is where God wants me, and I know this because He keeps sending me the work. But the moment that stops, or that I feel the 'energy' has died, I will move on, no problem.

There are also those, like my sister, who have changed careers mid-life. It is never too late to change. I did a post on that on my Body, Mind and Spirit blog.

I find the best thing to do is to ask God for clarity when I am at a loss. I pray every day that He leads me to whatever it is He wants me to be doing. And if I ask with true sincerity, I am usually led to whatever it is He wants of me.

If you are "middle-aged", my dear friend, those feelings are part and parcel of that period of our lives, unforunately. It's hormonal. There are herbal remedies for pre-menopause/menopause, but you can also pray for help with that, and know that God answers our prayers. Pray for contentment. You can also do some positive affirmations, on a daily basis.

Are you sure you are in the right place? Maybe not a question you want to be asked, right now, but I find that if I feel pain in the solar plexus area, it is usually wrong for me. I had that when I accepted that gig with the crazy Russian. Just some things to ponder. You're very welcome to email me, if you want.. it's on my website. Remember God wants you to be happy and prosper.

Some other things to try... when you are feeling wistful etc. When those thoughts come into your mind, immediately replace them with something positive. Don't indulge the feelings or thoughts.

Also try a gatitude journal. At night go through all the positive things that happened during the day.

Sorryfor rambling.
will pray for you, dear Strawb.

WomanHonorThyself said...

hiya Strawberry..being content is always a challenge eh!:)

Kathy said...

Hi Strawberry, you've received an award! You can pick it up here...

Texas Red said...

Yep...(pardon the language), but working full-time when you have a little completely sucks! I have no motivation anymore to finish school. All I want to do is be at home with Emma and not have to go to work every morning and come home every evening to chores and cooking and homework. Oh well...this too shall pass.

Strawberry said...

Texas Red - it will pass but enjoy the journey too!

Strawberry said...

Kathy - I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing. I so enjoy reading about your insights and the different stories you tell.

Frasypoo - You are alwasy such an enourager. I think that is your gift. And humor! You make me laugh often! Thank you for caring.

Incognito - some of it is middle age ramblings - (thus the name of the blog!!!). Some of it is a lack of contentment with where I am in my life, some of it may just be Blah! Thank you for the prayers. God answers those in very surprising ways sometimes.

Thank you to all of you for the encouragement and the support as I walk this path. I am very uncertain where it may lead but I am open to what God has for me.