It seems that a lot of folks experience a sense of restlessness at different periods of their lives. Graduation, whether high school or college, sometimes triggers that sense of uncertainty. Children leaving home/middle age is another period that can trigger a sense of questions about life in general. There are some that seem to make it through without having to deal with this questioning but, if most are honest, the feelings are very common. That has been the case for quite a while in my life. My children are basically grown and fairly self-sufficient, which is the goal as a parent, but it does leave a gap. In addition, the job I hold is not really what I want to do. It is what I have to do because of where we are and the necessity for me to work. That being said, I don't really know what I would do otherwise - this is basically what I've done since I graduated from college, other than raising children and maintaining a house. It always seems like there should be something more. This restlessness is lack of time with the Lord, listening to His quiet voice.
When I think of others in this world who have so little and yet have faith greater than mine, it really does make me ashamed. Americans take so much for granted. A friend is on a mission trip to Belarus. Before leaving, the group was told this may be the last time they get to go as the government is trying to keep evangelistic groups out. This makes it really difficult for my friend and the group as they care about the people they've met. This group has gone several times and have made friends there. Knowing they could face being forced to leave is not really an issue with them, but what could happen to the ones that live there is. One of the jokes that's made about the trip is that the group survives on a cucumber diet. They do serve meat to the group but when asked what kind of meat, their response is "It's meat." The animal the meat came from is normally not told so quite often, they just don't eat it. :)
This post started out as one on my own restlessness. I still struggle with it and will continue to do so, but the Lord is faithful. He has a plan and it is far better than anything I could dream up on my own. I just need to spend time with Him in quiet and listen.
Of course, I have 2 different guitar players playing at the same time, not together, not even the same song!!! That's okay - I enjoy hearing both play!