Friends - Past and Present

For most of my life, I have had the privilege (or curse) of living in a lot of different places. As a child, I never really thought about it too much as we moved fairly often. My dad worked for Santa Fe Railroad and was asked to move almost as much as if he were still in the military. It never really crossed my mind that there was anything different about it until I met my spouse. His family had lived in the same town his entire life. In fact, his mother and her siblings were born and raised in the same community.

After we were married, I said that I really did not want my children to have to move as often as I did as a child. However, looking back on that time helps me realize those moves shaped me into the person I am and God has used those moves in my life. Now - just because I said I did not want my children to have to move that often does not mean that was the case. They will both attest to the fact that we moved them almost as often as I was moved as a child. When we called a family meeting, the question was never "Are we moving?" It was "Where are we moving?" We lived in the small farming community my spouse grew up in for several years. Our daughter was 6 and in kindergarten and our son was just a year old when we left that town. Once we left there, we moved every 2 years or so until we moved back to the Panhandle of Texas. We have now been here 5 years and counting, which is a record for us!!!

I tried to encourage my children in all of the moves about the new places they got to experience and the new people they got to meet, but the moves were still traumatic on all of us! The one move that was hardest for me was when we left Justin (just north of Fort Worth, TX) and moved to Nebraska! We had only lived there 3 years but it had truly felt like home to us. We had a wonderful church family, good friends, family in the area and a tremendous variety of activities at our fingertips. I still view that church as my home church. We keep in contact with several of our friends from that time as they are really more like family.

In fact, that is what started my thoughts for tonight's post. I got the privilege of visiting with one of those friends this past weekend. We have not seen each other since my daughter's wedding in August of 2006 but we were able to pick up right where we left off. It was such a sweet time of fellowship and sharing. I really hated for it to end. I had not realized how much I had missed those precious friends until I sat talking with her. What blessings and encouragement each one was and is to our family. When God brings special friends into your life, you need to cherish and protect them. Pray for them regularly when God brings them to your mind and never take them for granted.

Better Days

We had a great day today. I left the house early to pick up my daughter. We went shopping for some items for her nursery and then some gifts and various other items. It was a really enjoyable day! As parents, some days we wonder if our relationship with our children will ever be a friendship. Those precious years when they are little and look to you for everything are so special, but they can be exhausting and trying. Then they begin to grow and try to find some independence. They reach the years between child and teenager when they are really trying the patience of everyone around them, but can still be absolutely charming! Along about the time they become a freshman in high school, things change, almost overnight! They can still be very charming, but they can also be sneaky, manipulative, and yes - sometimes downright cruel. It's during those days that you really begin to wonder about your job as a parent. Then - very gradually - things begin to get better again. Then it's time for them to leave home, either off to college or job and their own home. One of my favorite quotes from the movie, Indiana Jones - The Last Crusade is during the conversation between Indy (Harrison Ford) and his father (Sean Connery), as they are talking about their relationship over the years. The father tells the son "You left home just when you were becoming interesting!" Now I have always thought my children were interesting but I think the greatest compliment for a parent is when their child claims the parent as their best friend and mentor. If your child has told you they want to be just like you - you have been given a precious gift! We all want things for our children and quite often what we are or have done is not what we want for them. That is not our choice. They are telling us as parents, they appreciate and value the person we have been to them. This is spoken from the heart of a mother who stayed at home for a number of years as my children were growing up. The world largely looks on this group of women as martyrs, giving up EVERYTHING to stay home with their children. I actually felt that some of the time. I always wondered if I was doing the right thing for my children. Pshaw! The mothers who stay home with their children are the fortunate ones who get to be there for all of their child's firsts - first words, first steps, first day of school, first love, first fight. Those are things that can never be lived again. They are also memories that can never be taken from you! I did not do (nor did I ever believe I did) everything correctly for my children, but they knew we loved them and would always be there for them, that we were absolutely their biggest fans!

If you are a parent going through some of those more trying times, stay the course! Better days are ahead.